WHY AM I MARRIED?

You have two choices in life. You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. __________  At a cocktail party, one woman said to another - 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' 'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'    __________  A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds. 'Husband Wanted'. Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing. 'You can have mine.'   __________ When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.   __________ A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished . __________ A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?' Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'  __________ A young son asked, 'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?' Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'  __________ Then there was a woman who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late.'  __________  Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. __________ If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.  __________    Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. __________ First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!' Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.' __________  'A Woman's Prayer. Dear Lord, I pray for :- Wisdom - to understand a man, to love and to forgive him. Patience - for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength then I'll just beat him to death'

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Husband says:   When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? Wife says:   I clean the toilet. Husband says:   How does that help? Wife says:   I use your toothbrush