Short rated "R" spicy jokes

The 3 tragedies in a man's life:
1- life sucks
2- job sucks
3- Wife does NOT!
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A man is dying of cancer.
His son: 'Dad why you keep telling people you're dying of AIDS??'..
Answer: 'so that when I die, no one will dare to f**k your mother.'
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YESTERDAY NEWS: A nun jogging in the park was raped.
TODAY'S NEWS: Hundreds of nuns are jogging in the park!
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Question: 'Why is a waist called a waist?'
Answer: 'Because anything above the p**sy and below the tits is a waste'
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A lady tells her Man: 'I demand good manners in bed, just like at the dinner table'.
The man climbs into bed slowly and says:   'Honey, would you please pass me the vagina?'
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Question: 'what's common between a good-looking, faithful, rich
husband who satisfies his wife sexually every night and Bin Laden?'
'BOTH CANNOT BE FOUND'